Pictures Of You, Pictures Of Me.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Sleepless nights

I have already lost so much this year so what is another lost right? So many questions in my head but to ask will only make it hurt more, not on my side but the other. After all, I am already torn, deep, so who cares. I hope that I have never made you feel alone or controlled your life. I only wanted it to be a strong and happy one.

I only have to accept and pray for the other party's well being.

Sadly, I love you and let you go.

That is what you want and I can only listen,

unwillingly.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Keeping it strong

Been some time since I blogged. Only because, I have no idea what to blog about. Things happen during the days but its all only for the mind. A short kenduri for the aunty was done yesterday. 40 days has passed. It's fast. Whilst reading the doa's, I had to keep it all in. I fought so hard not to let any of those raindrop's fall. Others have gotten over it, somehow I have not. The wound is still raw. I still am not able to sleep on her bed, and I do have day dreams about her. Only I cannot tell. The pastry she left me is still untouched. I feel guilty, distraught that I never got to see & kiss her for the last time. I needed someone to just hold me yesterday. To tell me its okay to let the tears go. But no one was there. I guess, I will just have to learn that I am alone.. Always. No matter what he, she or they say. As they may be having a fun time outside or anywhere else and not thinking about you.

I have to keep strong..

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Ouch

Once is okay,

Twice not learned,

Thrice?

Never will..

2nd.....

Oh where oh where have my heart gone?

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

I wonder

I wonder if I am hallucinating and if it is just me.

I wonder if I try too hard.

I wonder if I should just learn to let go.

I wonder if I should stay apart.

I wonder if I should just learn to accept.

But then haven't I adapt??

I wonder if things were different

would I still be here to listen.

I wonder if I am doing it right

Or maybe I am just playing it wrong.

I wonder if you love me

In fact I wonder if I love You.

I do not need anything.

But trust, honesty and affection.

Is that too much to ask?


Me. I'm one of God's creation A plain girl who realise her full potential is barely reached Babysit, eating, sleeping and dancing is her best leisure ability Loves her family & friends to bits No life ahead without them in my life.. Currently 7hrs away from home Right now loving the life she is leading in Adelaide only because there are so many things she got herself involved in.. And it is not worthless involvements, mind you.. To get a hold of me Find me at: # FB, Nurhidayah Arj # mail at dayah.10@hotmail.com Call = +(61) 423325374 Shout. Let's hear it people.. Contacts family.. fahima Lurves.. YUS $CM$ @ika@ ~SHA~MI~ !ana! Futubi Ain Semut M@s2Ra (MUM) frens.. Kacuak XX Khairul AsH TP Lifang TP Raihan Kenny Deanne Aida S@m y0nGs Q Justina Oz Kelvin Oz Azilah Siqqin ShimIn sassy;) Loner cuxxies.. Feffe ame Mai sha Ilyas Bucci Extras.. My Livejournal MPP interesting things real life issues Past. May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 October 2009 November 2009 February 2010	Tuesday, December 30, 2008 Sleepless nights I have already lost so much this year so what is another lost right? So many questions in my head but to ask will only make it hurt more, not on my side but the other. After all, I am already torn, deep, so who cares. I hope that I have never made you feel alone or controlled your life. I only wanted it to be a strong and happy one. I only have to accept and pray for the other party's well being. Sadly, I love you and let you go. That is what you want and I can only listen, unwillingly. 1:05 PM · Monday, December 22, 2008 Keeping it strong Been some time since I blogged. Only because, I have no idea what to blog about. Things happen during the days but its all only for the mind. A short kenduri for the aunty was done yesterday. 40 days has passed. It's fast. Whilst reading the doa's, I had to keep it all in. I fought so hard not to let any of those raindrop's fall. Others have gotten over it, somehow I have not. The wound is still raw. I still am not able to sleep on her bed, and I do have day dreams about her. Only I cannot tell. The pastry she left me is still untouched. I feel guilty, distraught that I never got to see & kiss her for the last time. I needed someone to just hold me yesterday. To tell me its okay to let the tears go. But no one was there. I guess, I will just have to learn that I am alone.. Always. No matter what he, she or they say. As they may be having a fun time outside or anywhere else and not thinking about you. I have to keep strong.. 10:29 AM · Saturday, December 13, 2008 Ouch Once is okay, Twice not learned, Thrice? Never will.. 2nd..... Oh where oh where have my heart gone? 9:35 PM · Tuesday, December 02, 2008 I wonder I wonder if I am hallucinating and if it is just me. I wonder if I try too hard. I wonder if I should just learn to let go. I wonder if I should stay apart. I wonder if I should just learn to accept. But then haven't I adapt?? I wonder if things were different would I still be here to listen. I wonder if I am doing it right Or maybe I am just playing it wrong. I wonder if you love me In fact I wonder if I love You. I do not need anything. But trust, honesty and affection. Is that too much to ask? 9:05 AM ·