Me.
A plain girl who realise her full potential is barely reached
Babysit, eating, sleeping and dancing is her best leisure ability
Loves her family & friends to bits
No life ahead without them in my life..
Currently 7hrs away from home
Right now loving the life she is leading in Adelaide only because there are so many things she got herself involved in..
And it is not worthless involvements, mind you..
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Friday, October 28, 2005
~~She is Gone~~
Have you ever wondered what Life would be like without Her?
How your family would be like when She is no longer there,
And you being the eldest have to be the 1 who helps out within the family Besides your father.
If Life between your family members would change
Will you & your siblings be closer or more distant?
Will they fight alot? Will they be obedient to the father or notorious?
Then what happens to THE father?
Will he ever be the same happy Guy or always keeping to himself?
As though a prisoner of his own self.
Have YOU ever asked yourself all this qns?? I never bothered until today. I just lost an aunt this morning at 5.10am at SGH.I call her MAK. She took care of me when I was young; a toddler. She could not be saved. She had kidney failure yet could not have dialysis simply cos' she had cancer too. Its that easy when HE wants to take your life away. Right now all I can think of is If I will be strong enough to face this if my Mother pass away. *Of course it goes the same for my father too.* You lose a mother's love.
How your family would be like when She is no longer there,
And you being the eldest have to be the 1 who helps out within the family Besides your father.
If Life between your family members would change
Will you & your siblings be closer or more distant?
Will they fight alot? Will they be obedient to the father or notorious?
Then what happens to THE father?
Will he ever be the same happy Guy or always keeping to himself?
As though a prisoner of his own self.
Have YOU ever asked yourself all this qns?? I never bothered until today. I just lost an aunt this morning at 5.10am at SGH.I call her MAK. She took care of me when I was young; a toddler. She could not be saved. She had kidney failure yet could not have dialysis simply cos' she had cancer too. Its that easy when HE wants to take your life away. Right now all I can think of is If I will be strong enough to face this if my Mother pass away. *Of course it goes the same for my father too.* You lose a mother's love.
Always treasure your loved ones. No matter how stupid your fights with them is, no matter how irritating your siblings can be, no matter how NOT understanding your parents may be, no matter how much you feel like they Never give you any chance to prove yourself. Somehow deep down they love you as much as you love them And you know that they do these things for your own good. They are the ones who will pick up the pieces when you breakdown, they will be there when you get married, they were there to see you grow up, they were there to give you encouragement when you got Good or Bad grades. Only they know you best!
Never give up on your Family.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Just plain Bored
2 more weeks B4 I actually start school.
Counting dOwn the Days!!
And about one more week B4 HAri Raya. I do not know why I don't feel the Raye-ness. Is it becox I am like older now?hehe.. Matured lah katekan.*bluek*So this year I will be wearing Green. And my hair has been transformed!!ahakx.. I now have short brown coloured hair & I mean really short.
Nothing interesting has been happening in my life lately. I sleep late, wake up late, bathe, fast whole day and wait to break fast then sleep back. Seems to be my routine. Boring Life eh!?
My social life. Hmm.. been making Alot of new friends. People whom I never thought I wana befriend. People like the Ultimate Minahs and Mats And the extreme other end too;mainly the Ugama dudes. *some are kewt tho* Then not forgetting those who are business minded & matured. BAsically from all walks of life. The young and the OLD. Its like suddenly you know Everyone and somehow we are all connected.
Okay next, I have friends telling me things like they are falling DEEPER day by day with their boyfriends. Sometimes I envy them yet sometimes I get scared when I hear that. Its like I m scared of the aftermath more likely. WHat if they break up? What if they do something stupid?*since they are very close already* Then who will pick up the pieces if not us friends? But how much can we do? After considering the Pros & Conx I have decided that I wana stay single for now. Yeah ofcourse make new and mOre friends. Widen my network, get to know more peeps. Even if I do like someone right now I guess it can wait. If we are fated we will be together. :)
Priortities for my Ideal guy For now:
# SOmeone who has Not done it is in mY top list..BUt is there still guys out there who Are Pure??haix.
# Prays and knows how to read the Al-Quran..(mY dads wish)
# A gentleman to the elderly.. (cox if they respect the elderly they will surely respect US!
#Knows what he wants in his life and aims for it.
Prioritse Your life. Everything will happen at its own time.
Counting dOwn the Days!!
And about one more week B4 HAri Raya. I do not know why I don't feel the Raye-ness. Is it becox I am like older now?hehe.. Matured lah katekan.*bluek*So this year I will be wearing Green. And my hair has been transformed!!ahakx.. I now have short brown coloured hair & I mean really short.
Nothing interesting has been happening in my life lately. I sleep late, wake up late, bathe, fast whole day and wait to break fast then sleep back. Seems to be my routine. Boring Life eh!?
My social life. Hmm.. been making Alot of new friends. People whom I never thought I wana befriend. People like the Ultimate Minahs and Mats And the extreme other end too;mainly the Ugama dudes. *some are kewt tho* Then not forgetting those who are business minded & matured. BAsically from all walks of life. The young and the OLD. Its like suddenly you know Everyone and somehow we are all connected.
Okay next, I have friends telling me things like they are falling DEEPER day by day with their boyfriends. Sometimes I envy them yet sometimes I get scared when I hear that. Its like I m scared of the aftermath more likely. WHat if they break up? What if they do something stupid?*since they are very close already* Then who will pick up the pieces if not us friends? But how much can we do? After considering the Pros & Conx I have decided that I wana stay single for now. Yeah ofcourse make new and mOre friends. Widen my network, get to know more peeps. Even if I do like someone right now I guess it can wait. If we are fated we will be together. :)
Priortities for my Ideal guy For now:
# SOmeone who has Not done it is in mY top list..BUt is there still guys out there who Are Pure??haix.
# Prays and knows how to read the Al-Quran..(mY dads wish)
# A gentleman to the elderly.. (cox if they respect the elderly they will surely respect US!
#Knows what he wants in his life and aims for it.
Prioritse Your life. Everything will happen at its own time.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
##Flattered Or Disgusted!?##
A Scary Beginning
A Blissful Introduction
A Great Body
A Horrible Ending...Or is there an ending??
A call from one of my juniors today shock me. Thought it was over But it seems never ending. Was told they were no longer together only to find out that they still are. How?? Guy wants my photo for Girl to see. All will be solved if the Girl just forget about Me and Get a lIfe! What does she want to see how I look like for?? Wana see if I am prettier or uglier than her? Wana get revenge? I duno if I feel Flattered or Disgusted that I am still the talk in their Lives! I would take the latter. I am tooootttallyyy Disgusted; Big time!Now i know NOT to trust the Girl either.
A great evening I had with my ex classmates from Changkat on 18th of October. Ate at Siam Kitchen at Bugis with Ng,Mie,Yus,Faizal,Raihan,Farhan,Dayu & Bf. After which we went to Lucky Plaza for an hour of pool followed by a trip to Mc Cafe for our cheesecake!Yum!!I miss my peeps. All of them seem the same yet different somehow. Most of the girls are attached except me *sobs2*. As for the guys none of them are attached..tsk tsk.Cannot wait for Hari Raya when we can meet up again for another round of fun2!!
Another round of Driving Lesson tomorrow at 11am. Gotta wake up early and improve on my foot work plus my control of the steering wheel. Gotta learn how to co-ordinate everything and do it right.. I can Do it!!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
~6 weeks already!? Or isit 5?~
Everyday seems to pass by so damn fast.
Yeah it has been what? 5 or 6 weeks since I had my holidays? It does not matter I guess. I am dying to go back to school; I think.
It is the 13th day of fasting month already and I have lost like 3 kg. I love it!! The exchanging of food with neighbours, the eating out with family and friends, the prayers basically terawih and kiyamulai It all seems so.._____. Whats the word?? It likes unites all of us Muslims?? I find solace when I pray in this month asking all the things I want at the end of every prayer.
So unlike other holidays I have had, this one felt different. I was busier. With my driving lessons, my business, meeting up with friends & catching up on my sleeping. *Been sleeping at 3++am ! Insomnia??* It feels good though to know that my holiday is not wasted just making my butt bigger. tsk tsk..
And then it happens again. Have You ever felt like enough is enough? Like you know this is not the time yet it happens again! And no matter how hard you try, the feeling just does not go away. Infact it grows stronger. It all starts when you spend too much time together and then it becomes a habit 2 go home together. Then you start getting closer making jokes, sharing personal life stories, showing care and concern and BAM! The rest is history. Then you start asking yourself "shyt what is happening to me??What the hell am I feeling now?? Is it real? How does the other party feel?" blah2..So many questions!! Then you tell youself again and again that it cannot happen, it won't work But you still have thoughts of that someone. Seriously, I'm kinda getting tired of this. Liking someone then if it works out good, if not You get heartbroken AND then the cycle starts all over again. I guess thats human life. Or isit just a phase we teenagers face?mm.
Yeah it has been what? 5 or 6 weeks since I had my holidays? It does not matter I guess. I am dying to go back to school; I think.
It is the 13th day of fasting month already and I have lost like 3 kg. I love it!! The exchanging of food with neighbours, the eating out with family and friends, the prayers basically terawih and kiyamulai It all seems so.._____. Whats the word?? It likes unites all of us Muslims?? I find solace when I pray in this month asking all the things I want at the end of every prayer.
So unlike other holidays I have had, this one felt different. I was busier. With my driving lessons, my business, meeting up with friends & catching up on my sleeping. *Been sleeping at 3++am ! Insomnia??* It feels good though to know that my holiday is not wasted just making my butt bigger. tsk tsk..
And then it happens again. Have You ever felt like enough is enough? Like you know this is not the time yet it happens again! And no matter how hard you try, the feeling just does not go away. Infact it grows stronger. It all starts when you spend too much time together and then it becomes a habit 2 go home together. Then you start getting closer making jokes, sharing personal life stories, showing care and concern and BAM! The rest is history. Then you start asking yourself "shyt what is happening to me??What the hell am I feeling now?? Is it real? How does the other party feel?" blah2..So many questions!! Then you tell youself again and again that it cannot happen, it won't work But you still have thoughts of that someone. Seriously, I'm kinda getting tired of this. Liking someone then if it works out good, if not You get heartbroken AND then the cycle starts all over again. I guess thats human life. Or isit just a phase we teenagers face?mm.
LIke what 'he' said:
*Everything is predestined*
Saturday, October 15, 2005
~Lesson Learnt~
It has been almost a month plus since my holidays started. I had my supp paper for mct and unfortunately i still failed. I am really dissapointed in myself. This semester was really hectic for me and i have only myself to blame. I got myself an unneccesary distraction and because of that I had to pay the price deeply. This has taught me that I cannot afford to let myself be taken over by Anything Unimportant. Studies come first! I certainly have learnt my lesson.
Next, I have got to thank my Family. They were very supportive of me. My parents did not press any further or even nagged at me when they found out about me failing my MCT. My mum however did say that now u know no mre distractions eh!!She also said that this will pull your grades down. But I have got to face the fact!Both my parents are dissapointed. *OFcourse!!Who would not be!* But they were there for me. Also not forgetting to thank firah and dayu. Both were there for me 2.
Next on my list is my driving lessons!! I have passed my BTT and have gotten my PDL. So I have so far gone for 2 driving lessons. This coming Monday is my next lesson. I hope to pass it fast so one thing of my mind.
Lastly, My business!!Woohoo!! Its really a great feeling being around friends who really cares. I am really grateful to make the new friends that I have right now. And yah my business is going good!. But since it is the fasting month right now, I'm not as active as i used to be. But just wait till hari raya is over and I will back on my feet.Hehe..
My motto Now:
*Have the disipline to do the little things that You do not like and then You can COncentrate on the Big things That you DO like!
Next, I have got to thank my Family. They were very supportive of me. My parents did not press any further or even nagged at me when they found out about me failing my MCT. My mum however did say that now u know no mre distractions eh!!She also said that this will pull your grades down. But I have got to face the fact!Both my parents are dissapointed. *OFcourse!!Who would not be!* But they were there for me. Also not forgetting to thank firah and dayu. Both were there for me 2.
Next on my list is my driving lessons!! I have passed my BTT and have gotten my PDL. So I have so far gone for 2 driving lessons. This coming Monday is my next lesson. I hope to pass it fast so one thing of my mind.
Lastly, My business!!Woohoo!! Its really a great feeling being around friends who really cares. I am really grateful to make the new friends that I have right now. And yah my business is going good!. But since it is the fasting month right now, I'm not as active as i used to be. But just wait till hari raya is over and I will back on my feet.Hehe..
My motto Now:
*Have the disipline to do the little things that You do not like and then You can COncentrate on the Big things That you DO like!
Friday, October 07, 2005
wahahaahah!! everyone must READ!!!
Assalammualaikum.. Pertama sekali thanks for reading my e-mail.. Sempena bulan ramadhan ini.. Bulan suci ini yana menyusun 10 jari memohon ampun dan maaf atas segala apa yang terjadi sebelum ini.. Yana sedar yana juga salah dalam hal ini.. Betul kate dayah.. Dan betul juga kata sham.. Ketiga-tiga nya bersalah.. Dayah.. Yana mohon ampun yang sangat-sangat atas apa yang yana telah buat.. Yana ada sakitkan hati daya.. Dan ada juga yana terkasar bahasa.. Bukan sahaja bulan ini yana mohon ampun malah maafkanlah yana untuk selamanya.. Yana bertekad tak akan melakukan nya lagi.. Haraplah sangat dayah dapat memaafkan yana.. Yana tak pernah membenci dayah tapi yana hanya marah.. Dan sebenarnya yana tak tahu marah kerna apa.. Kini yana tahu yana marah kerana kisah dulu.. Sebenarnya yana tak patut marahkan dayah seorang.. Yana juga marah pada sham sehingga sukar yana menerima dia kembali.. Yana rasa hingga di sini segalanya.. Harap dayah dapat membalas e-mail ini dan memaafkan kesilapan ini.. Ampun beribu ampun.. Salam ukhuwah buatmu.. SELAMAT MENJALANI IBADAH PUASA..
I received this mail letter from yana on october the 5th at 6pm. ahakx! can u believe it?? she actually realised it now after so long!!Gosh what a tiring 'game'. mm RYT Now should i reply her letter??mm*thinking*
I received this mail letter from yana on october the 5th at 6pm. ahakx! can u believe it?? she actually realised it now after so long!!Gosh what a tiring 'game'. mm RYT Now should i reply her letter??mm*thinking*
Sunday, October 02, 2005
aargghh!!
*angry*
AARGGHH.... I really cannot stand it anymore right now!!
Seriously, if they( the 2 setoopid and crazy couples) DO NOT stop soon, I might Burst!!
On one hand YAna keeps on thinking its my fault everything fell apart between them And On the other hand SHam would not give up tormenting my now HAppy life..I feel whatever it is I try to tell YANA deep down she knows it is true yet she is still siding that clown! In her eyes I am and will always be 'the other woman'. Alrite yeah, i WAS! BUt how many times must i tell you that when i got to know sham he said he was SINGLE!! AND I was EXTRA cautious too as he had always wanted to meet but I gave him the chance ONLY after a month plus of us contacting. BUT no...It goes in one ear and out the other.she still thinks i was the one who stole sham away from her and that i'm the cause of their break up!!GOD!!YOU guys were already breaking and patching up like so many times EVEN b4 i came to the picture. Then first BOTH party told me that they had done it. yes SEX and now yana denies it and blames sham for spouting nonsense. Then another setoopid thing she said was they had already broken up and she wants me to meet sham to stop everything as I am the only one who could that as sham keeps on bothering her life and her NEW boyfriend. Then don't know how that day while chatting on msn with her, sham suddenly was at her house using her account chatting to me..SO MUCH for not wanting him to 'ganggu' her anymore. GOSH!!2 sick people sia. AND I'm stuck with them. They won't let me go.IBU is alos scared that they may be vindictive--> like will take revenge. Seriously if sham does not want me anymore why the fuck does he still care if i am still alive??i don't bother his life!! And what makes it more frustrating is when people read my blog and tell me " dayah, don't bother or layan them anymrelah. They are crazy." Who the hell said i layan them!? They are the ones who are disturbing me.!!right now I just want a quiet life!! * haix. i'm sorry people. Its not you really that I'm going against, i Know u guys mean well BUT im just so frustrated right now*
And now sham has added me to his friendster. TO hell wif him. he actually has the cheek to add me sia!!after calling me kerek, ngada2, he still thinks we r friends??crazy!! argghh..seriously, one more time THEY enter my life, be it get a miss call from them, see their faces or on msn i will scream!!i M so losing it right now..I need a peaceful place to go to..but where??
AARGGHH.... I really cannot stand it anymore right now!!
Seriously, if they( the 2 setoopid and crazy couples) DO NOT stop soon, I might Burst!!
On one hand YAna keeps on thinking its my fault everything fell apart between them And On the other hand SHam would not give up tormenting my now HAppy life..I feel whatever it is I try to tell YANA deep down she knows it is true yet she is still siding that clown! In her eyes I am and will always be 'the other woman'. Alrite yeah, i WAS! BUt how many times must i tell you that when i got to know sham he said he was SINGLE!! AND I was EXTRA cautious too as he had always wanted to meet but I gave him the chance ONLY after a month plus of us contacting. BUT no...It goes in one ear and out the other.she still thinks i was the one who stole sham away from her and that i'm the cause of their break up!!GOD!!YOU guys were already breaking and patching up like so many times EVEN b4 i came to the picture. Then first BOTH party told me that they had done it. yes SEX and now yana denies it and blames sham for spouting nonsense. Then another setoopid thing she said was they had already broken up and she wants me to meet sham to stop everything as I am the only one who could that as sham keeps on bothering her life and her NEW boyfriend. Then don't know how that day while chatting on msn with her, sham suddenly was at her house using her account chatting to me..SO MUCH for not wanting him to 'ganggu' her anymore. GOSH!!2 sick people sia. AND I'm stuck with them. They won't let me go.IBU is alos scared that they may be vindictive--> like will take revenge. Seriously if sham does not want me anymore why the fuck does he still care if i am still alive??i don't bother his life!! And what makes it more frustrating is when people read my blog and tell me " dayah, don't bother or layan them anymrelah. They are crazy." Who the hell said i layan them!? They are the ones who are disturbing me.!!right now I just want a quiet life!! * haix. i'm sorry people. Its not you really that I'm going against, i Know u guys mean well BUT im just so frustrated right now*
And now sham has added me to his friendster. TO hell wif him. he actually has the cheek to add me sia!!after calling me kerek, ngada2, he still thinks we r friends??crazy!! argghh..seriously, one more time THEY enter my life, be it get a miss call from them, see their faces or on msn i will scream!!i M so losing it right now..I need a peaceful place to go to..but where??