Pictures Of You, Pictures Of Me.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

A tinge of nostalgia.

The company of 3 back again for today. It wasn't so much of minding how small it was but how it felt so lonely. Discussing what we wanted done when Raya came, seem so melancholy-ing. If there is such a word. It was like I was there and I was engaging myself in the conversation. Yet, I knew my mind was elsewhere. I tried so hard not to think of what was happening back 'there'. I would catch myself reminiscining time and again. I wish I can say I don't understand why I do that thinking-of-the-days-when-I-am-there commonly these days, cause I do get it! I get that at this Very moment, so many of the wonderful things I want to happen, happens. Yet you are so far away. It doesn't help also that you are all alone in a foreign land which do not do Big celebrations for this kind of festivity. And even if they do, which I doubt, it is never the same. Call me a stereotype but home is always the best place to celebrate the traditional things in life.
Come to think of it, I do get tired of always complaining about how I miss it back there. I do get tired of having to wonder what is going on at this time back at home. And I do get tired of wondering what pastries my family is gona get this year. hehe. I have to admit, I never bothered before but it now seems so much more substantial. The little things like how my earrings are still hanging on my tree-sort of handle is being dusted off everyday and how my house key is kept untouched and still lying on the desktop the way I left it before I left affects me affectionately. It is not that the people I have made friends with here do not help me in coping with this desire to go home. And it is not that they are not appreciated as much as the friends I have back at home. It is just so incomparable, disparate, mismatched! That's the word. It feels like here, we are friends only to live by each day. We need one another just because. I do not see myself telling any friends here what I really feel. I do not see myself sharing my thoughts, my depression, my enthusiasm, my love, my anger with anyone here. I feel stoned and lifeless. I see myself wanting to just crawl to my room and seat infront of the only thing which keeps me going as I am able to see my friends and my loved ones; the lappy. When I do get tired of straining the already 4 pair of eyes, I just feel the need to study. I have my days when I just needed to be alone. Shutting the door and wanting everyone out. And it is not even PMS yet. tsk tsk. Obviously, I mentioned, it's not always bad. Life is never just a bed of roses. But it is sure different.
Guess that is what they call experience. Oh I am experiencing it alright.

On a lighter scale, I know I can do this. I know I just want to finish this whole ordeal and get on with my life. If others can, I am no different. It is just a phase I have to go through to achieve what I want in the end.

Label: Danish dreamt of me today. I heart him lah can!?

Camat puasa ke 5 peeps..


Me. I'm one of God's creation A plain girl who realise her full potential is barely reached Babysit, eating, sleeping and dancing is her best leisure ability Loves her family & friends to bits No life ahead without them in my life.. Currently 7hrs away from home Right now loving the life she is leading in Adelaide only because there are so many things she got herself involved in.. And it is not worthless involvements, mind you.. To get a hold of me Find me at: # FB, Nurhidayah Arj # mail at dayah.10@hotmail.com Call = +(61) 423325374 Shout. Let's hear it people.. Contacts family.. fahima Lurves.. YUS $CM$ @ika@ ~SHA~MI~ !ana! Futubi Ain Semut M@s2Ra (MUM) frens.. Kacuak XX Khairul AsH TP Lifang TP Raihan Kenny Deanne Aida S@m y0nGs Q Justina Oz Kelvin Oz Azilah Siqqin ShimIn sassy;) Loner cuxxies.. Feffe ame Mai sha Ilyas Bucci Extras.. My Livejournal MPP interesting things real life issues Past. May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 October 2009 November 2009 February 2010	Sunday, September 16, 2007 A tinge of nostalgia. The company of 3 back again for today. It wasn't so much of minding how small it was but how it felt so *lonely. Discussing what we wanted done when Raya came, seem so melancholy-ing. If there is such a word. It was like I was there and I was engaging myself in the conversation. Yet, I knew my mind was elsewhere. I tried so hard not to think of what was happening back 'there'. I would catch myself reminiscining time and again. I wish I can say I don't understand why I do that thinking-of-the-days-when-I-am-there commonly these days, cause I do get it! I get that at this Very moment, so many of the wonderful things I want to happen, happens. Yet you are so far away. It doesn't help also that you are all alone in a foreign land which do not do Big celebrations for this kind of festivity. And even if they do, which I doubt, it is never the same. Call me a stereotype but home is always the best place to celebrate the traditional things in life. Come to think of it, I do get tired of always complaining about how I miss it back there. I do get tired of having to wonder what is going on at this time back at home. And I do get tired of wondering what pastries my family is gona get this year. hehe. I have to admit, I never bothered before but it now seems so much more substantial. The little things like how my earrings are still hanging on my tree-sort of handle is being dusted off everyday and how my house key is kept untouched and still lying on the desktop the way I left it before I left affects me affectionately. It is not that the people I have made friends with here do not help me in coping with this desire to go home. And it is not that they are not appreciated as much as the friends I have back at home. It is just so incomparable, disparate, mismatched! That's the word. It feels like here, we are friends only to live by each day. We need one another just because. I do not see myself telling any friends here what I really feel. I do not see myself sharing my thoughts, my depression, my enthusiasm, my love, my anger with anyone here. I feel stoned and lifeless. I see myself wanting to just crawl to my room and seat infront of the only thing which keeps me going as I am able to see my friends and my loved ones; the lappy. When I do get tired of straining the already 4 pair of eyes, I just feel the need to study. I have my days when I just needed to be alone. Shutting the door and wanting everyone out. And it is not even PMS yet. tsk tsk. Obviously, I mentioned, it's not always bad. Life is never just a bed of roses. But it is sure different. Guess that is what they call experience. Oh I am experiencing it alright. On a lighter scale, I know I can do this. I know I just want to finish this whole ordeal and get on with my life. If others can, I am no different. It is just a phase I have to go through to achieve what I want in the end. Label: Danish dreamt of me today. I heart him lah can!?* Camat puasa ke 5 peeps.. 9:16 PM ·