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Me.

I'm one of God's creation
A plain girl who realise her full potential is barely reached
Babysit, eating, sleeping and dancing is her best leisure ability
Loves her family & friends to bits
No life ahead without them in my life..
Currently 7hrs away from home
Right now loving the life she is leading in Adelaide only because there are so many things she got herself involved in..
And it is not worthless involvements, mind you..


Friday, June 10, 2005
i'm confused about so many things..all i know is that i do like him..

haix...gosh dis really sux..well its d lives of 3 different people now..

ME--> how long has it been since i was 'single'. since 8 april 2004..i miss being myself..i miss not caring about how i look or how i am around people.i miss telling people who have heartbreaks or whatever.." tu lah sape suroh ade matair?tgk aku..relek je"..heee yeah gosh i miss myself man...Right now, since sham came into my life things change..I CHANGE!!i feel like i think alot about this 'things'..haix...i duno what im doin to myself...the good thing is my parents have accpeted sham and god im so happy about that..as for me, i am confused. i duno what i should do really..but one things for sure i do like him..

SHAM---> well what can i say about him??he calls me everyday be it at work or at home..once b4 i go to school once during my lunch break and twice when i reach home..:) he do care about me..he has called me his bakal matair...mm..*thinking*, he has told me HE LOVES ME ALOT.and he wants me, and he has told me he will never go back to d bitch . why?that i duno..I am happy to hear all this but i do have my doubts..that's why i'm taking it one step at a time..

D BITCH---> gosh just talking about her makes my darah go up sia!! well for the past few days she has been bugging me..calling and msging me all dat..in the end today, 10/6, when she msged me " dayah kalao pun u da dpt sham, yana kat sini hanya menanti sham sampai sham kembali"..i was pissed of cox she never understood that i have been telling her that me and sham are just frens!! so i replied to her "eh2 dgr sham n me KWN JELA PAHAM TAK!n plz stop kaling or msgin me la.i hav sch ok!!" i told her that..wah n guess what ppl she can actually reply me back this!!
yana: MARAHKAN I ASYIK CALL ATAU MSG MCM 2 AR I MRH U MSK DLM HDP SHAM DULU! DA TAU KAN DE MATAIR I DULU ABEH KENAPE GANGGU!
me: EH KO NAK MARAH AKU UAT APE AR!DAT TYM NE AKU TAU. DIE LANG AKU DIER SINGLE* which was true* KO PIKIR KALO AKU TAU AKU AMBIK DIE?IF ITS ANY1 FAULT ASK URSELF"
yana: KO JGN NAK TUNJUK TEROR KAT SINI!ABEH BLER DA DAPT TAU KNP MASEH MENGGATAL! MSH TERGILA2!
me: HAHA, SAPE YG TUNJUK TEROR NI.AKU RELEK YE.APE2 AR..KO CKPLAH APE KO NK CKP..AKU DA LANG KO APE YG PATOT DIBILANG. AKU DA MLS NK LYN..
yana: TAPI RAJIN APE LYN JANTAN!!BLAH AR..

yeah dis was how our conversation went..wah FUCK her sak!!!i felt like replying "beh ape? jeles ape aku rajin lyn jantan??nanti kiter kahwin dgn jantan pe bukan betina!!" but i controlled myself..argghh...damn her sak!!!BITCH!!!when i told sham abt dis even he was angry and he told me to msg her but i said no...let her think wadeva she wants ah..i dun wana b as childish as her...i mean i was not the one who tergile2 kan dier..YES I LIKE HIM..but when i found out he patched up wif her i did back off..i din pick up his calls or anyting...up to now it has always been him who keeps calling me!!!so best girl wins bitch!! then she has been complaining to sham that ade group of girls nak rembat dier...MEMANG PADAN MUKER!!but guess what peeps..she partly blames me!! ahahaha can u believe dat??sham asked me today?dayah have u done anyting wrong?then i was like huh?no...then sham told me the whole story about yana getting beaten up by this girls..and this people always mention my name n sham's..IM LIKE WTF!!
---*firstly eh tkde mase ah nk uat ni seme...im not a sore loser kalo sham choose u eh yana i will just have to face d facts even if it breaks my heart...
---* 2nd ly im wondering did u really get beaten up or just making it all up??to get attention from sham??cox seriously i don't fucking knw where u live nor where u work...i DUN GIVE A DAMN where u r at any time of the day..N I BLODDY HELL Do not knw how u look like!!so how m i suppose to send people to beat ur bloody body up!!even yusri, sham's fren, asked sham eh si yana ni btul ke just creating trouble??n i totally agree with yusri...
---* 3rd ly , gosh cinta tak leh dipaksa ah...i nvr stole sham away from u..u pushed him away with ur stupid attitude of wanting to control everything...sape tk fed up!!
damn i can go on about all the things i hate about u man ...but then it will be a waste of my energy..i'm thinking skali memebers sendiri yg pukul...or dier je uat crite...

haix...i duno ah...memalukan bdak2 madrasah dan yg berumur 17 tahun ye...arrgghh.....

i jus have to tabahkan hati ryt now...