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Me.

I'm one of God's creation
A plain girl who realise her full potential is barely reached
Babysit, eating, sleeping and dancing is her best leisure ability
Loves her family & friends to bits
No life ahead without them in my life..
Currently 7hrs away from home
Right now loving the life she is leading in Adelaide only because there are so many things she got herself involved in..
And it is not worthless involvements, mind you..


Friday, November 21, 2008
Plans for tomorrow...

Exams are finally over & done with. The feeling is so-so. 2nd paper was good but the 1st is a killer. I only have myself to blame for slacking too much. Thought I was ready but upon seating on that "hot seat", I realised I am lost and I did not prepare myself very well. All I can do right now is wait for the results and hope that I will pass. If not a credit, atleast a pass. Please...

Ever wondered if what you plan tomorrow will take place? So it was hurray hurray for me yesterday right. Nothing to revise at night no more. So was lying down in bed looking out into the skies when thoughts went running about back home. About her. It has been a week now. The days pass by so quickly yet it felt like I only received the news a minute ago. Then it got me thinking, what if she had planned to do something today last week. Unfortunately, she never got to do it. What if she had kept or held on to something to give to someone the next day but never got to do it either. Thinking of her made me think of how it is gona be like when I depart from the face of this earth. MasyaAllah..

Its not about not wanting to make MY decisions for me, its about what YOU want and I still making my own final decision. We just wana know if you need them there. You never learn...

Thursday, November 13, 2008
I dreamt of her

She Came in my dream last night. I was under some block going to the funeral. Then suddenly 3 people including her came out of nowhere. Cik Ja was pucat and she was WALKING in her black long dress. I remember being confused and asked the other 2 people, "I thought Cik Ja was dead? " Then someone just said "yea, but somehow she woke up in the middle of the night." And then cik Ja then came to me and hugged me and got me to seat down with her at those stools under the block. I remember shivering out of cold. I do not remember if me and cik ja talked, but somehow it felt like she did say something to me but i forgot, which I will always regret.
Wishing I was home right now to atleast be able to see her face for the last time.
How could I forget?!!
20 minutes more..

Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tagged and doing due to boredom..

1. The person who tagged you is?
-The sister, Fahima
2. Your relationship with him/her?
Mentioned above... Read.. seriously..*roll eyes*
3. Your 5 impressions of her/him.
Erm.. Lovely, Tall, Childish but loving too and my Life!
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you.
erm..Geez this is tuff!! HAHAHH! Not in the right mind to think of any.
5. The most memorable thing she had said to you?
I love you
7. If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be?
Her temper
8. If she/he becomes your enemy, you will?
make her my friend
9. (Repeat Question)
Next!
10. What is it you want to tell her/him now?
No more tags please...
11. Your overall impression of her/him is?
Question repeated..
12. How do you think ppl round you will feel around you?
Oh My God, I so dun wana let her go..
13. The characters you love of yourself are?
Loyal and always there for people.
14. On the contrary,the characters you hate yourself are?
I dun hate myself..
15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
My dad
16. For people that care and like you, say something to them
I love you just as much
17.Pass this quiz to 5 people that you wish to know how they feel about you.
I shall not bother about this question thus dun have to bother about the rest and so deleted.. Yay!!

In remembrance to my late aunty Azizah Mohamad Noor,
Kembali ke Rahmatullah pada haribulan
November 12th 2008 at 4pm.
You are always on my mind.
I guess this is the time when we talk of all the happy moments with her.
  1. I remember her always asking one of us siblings to go across the road to buy food and then tipping us.
  2. I remember her waking up for subuh and then not sleeping until all of us children have gone to school.
  3. I remember her asking me to get her chocolates from aussie and all I did was said I will try, when I should have said SURE..
  4. I remembered kissing her on the cheeks before I left this year in august, and she actually cried suddenly. I thought it was just one emotional moment.
  5. I remember her seating on that brown chair in the kitchen and telling nani how to cook stuffs.
  6. I remember when I duno where the stuffs are, I will just need to ask her and she knows where I put it.
  7. I remember her telling nenek where SHE keeps all her stuffs as nenek is pretty much forgetful these days.
  8. I remember waiting at GH when she was having her triple By pass operation and saw how happy she was when she saw us at the waiting room after her operation.
  9. I remember her volunteering to pay for kenduri's just cause she wants people there.
  10. I remember people calling her CNN.
  11. I remember how people always talk to her and tell her not to tell anyone, yet they know, she cannot keep it.

There are just so many to remember her by. I guess the only thing I will never forget is seeing her cry when I left 3 months ago. Things happen when I am not there. But I take this as a test from Him. Atleast I know, this time, I am not alone and I have someone with me to hold me. For that I'm grateful.

Cik Ja, I love you..


Thursday, November 06, 2008
hrmmss

Would you love her for her, or just for the memory of her?
Question is,
Are you doing it for her, or for you..
Seriously?
She can only ponder..
And wait to see..
as the darker days ahead unfolds before her
"Or not..."
As you do not even TrY to assure..
I fail as a poet..